Deep Breathing
The most common question I hear is ‘How are you able to listen to someone without being emotionally connected to what is said’
You have accepted that there is truth to what is being said
Engaging in a conversation with a person- that aligns with our ideas (and is in agreement with the topic that is being discussed) is a lot easier to listen to, than a person that has a conflicting viewpoint to add. Your ego has a way of constantly getting in the way; arguing why your views are more correct and necessary to be embodied than the other member in the conversation. This urge to be right and correct above logical reason just because ‘’your point is being undermined’’, will shift your focus from a standpoint of control to a back-and-forth that removes the general reason for the conversation.
You’re still not grounded in your self-knowing
Those that are certain of their identities are not easily shifted by another assumption of them. Yet you must understand that there are multiple narratives that people have of you, and they are all correct. Why they are all correct is due to this formula. The formula is: Emotions + Experiences = Perspective ‘’character illusions’’. This formula is relevant for both parties.
Emotions manipulate how you see someone, a situation, and how you view time. When you are happy, time appears to flow better and faster. Colors appeared more vibrant and minor ‘negative’ occurrences appear- minor. Yet when you are angry, what do you observe about yourself? how do you react to everyday tragedies, such as bad weather, bad news, being late, etc?. How much do you overexaggerate those events when you’re in a negative state, compared to when you are in a state of peace?
How does this correlate with the idea that every perspective, that others have highlighted about you, is correct? Well, if emotions alter how we perceive these moments (for the mind to then file them as experiences) then it means that through micro-moments, we revealed a different version of ourselves that the people that were on the front line, observed. Because you do not remember that in pain you are or were aggressive (or you fail to acknowledge yourself in that way, because you have accepted a general narrative about yourself) does not mean the bystander is lying. Accepting that you showcase different faces through every waking moment of your life, you will not feel compelled to prove an idea about yourself. Instead, you will be more open to understanding a point of view that will expose those characters and will push you to consciously correct them.
You’re not breathing properly
We as humans have the habit of breathing incorrectly. ‘Fashion’ is designed to restrict the body, by being too tight, from head to toe. On top of this, with school and work, we are taught to please society more than we are to take control. So in other words, we are confining ourselves, which can explain why our creativity is so limited and our self-esteem is close to being shattered. The inability to breathe correctly is the main reason why your emotions have the audacity to spire out of control, and why your mind no longer sees you as an alpha that feels it is not obliged to listen and obey. The importance of deep breathing shifts your awareness, from the previous point of focus to a calm surrendering in and out state, that your breathing guides you towards. When you surrender, the ideas created through years of mental conditioning- through emotional manipulations, are disregarded. Instead, you allow yourself to just be one with everything that breathes similar to yourself. This action removes the life force placed with the event you identified as ‘bad’ and makes it appear meaningless. So with the question of ‘how are you able to listen to someone without being emotionally connected to what is being said? The answer is, to take a moment to breathe through your stomach and not through your chest. With that pause, your mind will work effectively and come to the conclusion that these ‘problems’ are simply our obsession to take heavy control of the thing that is designed to just flow, and we to flow with it. Things do not have to be complicated, there’s not more to look into than the basics.
